How to Avoid Being a Stupid American When Working in Europe

Although Budapest is stunning, my office in an industrial park outside of the city reminds me that yes, I do live and work in post-communist Central Europe. Instead of hitting up Starbucks for a grande soy misto each morning, I begin the workday by emphatically smiling and waving at the parking attendant, three receptionists and any coworkers whom I pass in the hall in an attempt to compensate for my limited Hungarian vocabulary. Apparently I equate borderline-manic cheerfulness to not acting like a stupid American. Here are a few other suggestions.

Realize you are in a fortunate position.

Local friends and coworkers always - and incredulously - ask me, “Why did you ever move here?” They cannot fathom why I voluntarily would leave America to live and work in Hungary. And the answer is that I have it better than they do. As an American, I make significantly more than my local counterparts and am able to take advantage of the great things Budapest has to offer without dealing with the crap – the high taxes, currency fluctuations, and corrupt national healthcare system.

On the flip side, most of my (educated, English-speaking) coworkers have never been to America. Until recently the U.S. rejected most of their applications and it was prohibitively expensive. I am kidding myself to think that I have had the same opportunities as my coworkers.

Be aware of America’s influence.

America has influenced the history of every country in Europe. As a result most Europeans are knowledgeable about American politics and culture and feel no qualms passing judgment or sharing opinions on the U.S. The average American does not have the same informed view of Europe. And why should he? Unlike Europeans, Americans do not have the need to look for culture and opportunities outside of their own country.

But I live and work in Budapest now so I better understand how America has impacted Hungary. If I don’t, I either can say nothing or talk out of my ass when my coworker criticizes American foreign policy in front of me. And it is only when Americans argue about something about which they have no clue that Europeans think they are stupid.

Have wine at lunch.

Previously I worked in jobs where I ate lunch (and often dinner) at my desk. Here the office moves at a much slower pace, and I need to acclimate myself to the office culture or I will drive myself, and my coworkers, crazy (I already am accused of being “too serious”).

The best advice a fellow ex-pat gave me prior to moving here was to be patient – patient that I didn’t get a computer until my second week of work and patient that I just received an auto-reply from a coworker saying that he will have “limited availability to email for the next EIGHT weeks.” And taking time out of the workday to relax isn’t such a bad thing – I doubt I would have been able to write this post during the workday while ibanking (although thinking about it, investment bankers now probably have plenty of time to blog…)

Flirt.

I have not heard the phrase “sexual harassment” once since moving abroad. When my male coworker mentioned that a female controller had a “very sexy voice” and he would like to “make lots of babies with her,” I laughed it off as harmless. And much like I have learned to eschew takeaway coffee, I no longer think twice when my female coworker arrives to work sporting a hot pink mesh tank top. Europeans simply do not take sexual banter and expression as seriously as Americans do and there is not a suing culture here.

Remember you are American.

While Europeans (and many Americans) clearly dislike many Americans stereotypes, they are also envious of other American traits such as happiness and confidence. Just because I live in Budapest does not mean I need to embrace the passive and pessimistic “Hungarian mentality.” Yeah, I don’t want to stand out for being ignorant, defensive or loud. But if I stand out for being confident and freakishly cheerful, bring it on.