1. Do not order the vegetarian option. Hungarians are carnivores and generally skeptical of anyone who is not. Consequently do not order the vegetarian dish because the restaurant likely is making it for the first time. Also, when perusing the menu, note that Hungarians consider people who eat chicken and beef but not pork “vegetarians.”
2. Listen to the waiter. Hungarian food can be strange. I like almost anything (herring, bone marrow, Lucky Charms) but even I haven’t been able to stomach certain meals. When the waiter suggested that my dad not order the “poppy seed dumplings” because it was an “acquired” taste, my dad was wise to change his order.
3. Stay away from dishes named after other nationalities. This advice especially applies to the American salad (a bowl of mayonnaise accompanied with julienned vegetables) and Spanish paella (in Hungary it apparently is acceptable to use sauerkraut as a main ingredient in paella).
4. Order exotic meat dishes only at more expensive restaurants. If your venison or duck costs less than four euros and is covered in a thick cream sauce, aren’t you a little worried that you are eating cat?
5. Grilled probably means fried. Now when I order grilled “csirke” (chicken), I almost expect it to come breaded and deep fried with a side of fries. Not that I am complaining. It is like a higher power is telling me, “Silly Alex – why even try to be healthy?”
6. Don’t dismiss a restaurant just because it offers a tourist menu. Budapest understands the importance of tourists, and the best restaurants often have an English or tourist menu.
7. But do dismiss all “Kinai” or Chinese buffets. This is my third rule when visiting Budapest. Trust me.
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