McSweeney’s Wannabe

Reasons Why I Won’t Be Confused with an Actual Hungarian

I vote.

I put my napkin on my lap.

I treat driving laws as rules rather than suggestions.

I feel uncomfortable buying “negrita” candy bars.

I do not purposely try to poke people on the sidewalk with my umbrella. (This may change if I am having a bad day.)

I am embarrassed to drink a wine spritzer in public.

I want to live here.

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My awesome view of St. Peter's Basilica during drinks at Cafe Negro last night.