Happy That I Have COBRA

Heidi Klum insured her legs for $1.7 million in 2004 after “the blonde beauty's lovely limbs were costed on their length, shape, rarity and commercial value.” I am not saying the rarity of my limbs is comparable to those of Ms. Klum, but I would pay a hell of a lot of money to someone if he threatened to take them away from me.

Apparently this is a relevant question if one lives in Hungary.

My friend Adrienn and her family were skiing in Austria two years ago when her father injured his leg on the slopes and went to an Austrian hospital for treatment. The hospital stitched him up, the family returned home to Hungary, and Mr. Adrienn went to a Hungarian hospital a few days later for a follow-up appointment.

A Hungarian doctor immediately removed his stitches and admitted him to the hospital. Within three days, he had an infection spreading from his leg to other parts of his body. Within five days, he barely could talk. One week after he was admitted, a doctor informed Mr. Adrienn that he may need to have his leg amputated.

Understandably, Adrienn’s family freaked out. In desperation, Adrienn’s mother offered the doctors and nurses (a lot of) “hálapénz,” which roughly translates into “sort of money.” Or a bribe. One week later, Mr. Adrienn was released from the hospital and returned home with all limbs intact.

Apparently this is not an uncommon occurrence. When I asked other Hungarians about their experiences with national healthcare, I heard similar stories – patients are not seen, operations are not performed, and proper care is not given without a kickback of hálapénz, the amount commensurate with the severity of the situation (how do you like that passive sentence, GMAT biatches?). Adrienn estimated the hálapénz needed to “rectify” a situation often approaches the cost of going to a private doctor or hospital.

This is the same country that has tax rates double those of neighboring countries and justifies its high taxes by the expense of running a national healthcare system, even though most European countries have similar systems. The situation also makes one wonder if Hungary’s low life expectancy (77 years for females and only 68 years for males as compared to the 76 and 82 years for males and females in the EU, respectively) is a result of poor healthcare rather than the prevalence of fatty food.

In the U.S., not having private insurance can leave one in debt for the rest of one’s life. In Hungary, not having private healthcare can bring about the end of one’s life (or at least the ability to walk).