Ways I Have Tried to Embrace Hungarian Culture and My Success So Far

Scale: 1-10

1 HELL NO.
10 I’m doing it now.

Relying less on the crackberry – 7
Would be higher except my home Internet is spotty, and my slightly anti-social nature prefers emailing to talking on the phone.

Giving up “takeaway” coffee - 9
I am embracing the sit-down, small cappuccino lifestyle although this switch largely stems from my not wanting to look like an American tool by carrying around a huge paper coffee cup.

Not staring at people’s outfits and haircuts – 4
People here can look pretty ridiculous. Granted I probably looked strange too when I stepped outside to grab breakfast only to discover that the bakery next to my apartment was inexplicably closed at 10 AM on a Saturday and ended up trekking through the middle of the city in my pajamas. Remember Kate’s skunk hairstyle on Jon + Kate plus 8 (soon to be Kate + 8 minus whatever babies Jon gets custody of)? That would be a conservative hairstyle here.

Contributing to the highest divorce rate in the EU – 1
Even though my mom continually asks me whether I have met Prince Vladimir yet (is that even a Hungarian name?), my marriage - and thus divorce - prospects are looking slim. The aforementioned Kika guy has made no advances since my last post.

Engaging in intense PDA - 1
Please see above response.

Embracing the fanny pack - 10


Learning the language - 4
This score is low not due to lack of trying – I have Hungarian lessons at 7 AM every Monday. The first week I learned the alphabet. There are 14 vowels, including four variations of "o" which all sound like someone dressed up as a ghost trying to scare kids on Halloween. My co-workers compound my confusion by not always telling me the correct way to say something in Hungarian. For instance, now I know there is a one letter difference between the phrases “How are you” and “You are pee” (yeah, like urine).